Reluctant Memsahib

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Reluctant Memsahib
The diary of wife, mother and failed domestic goddess in Africa
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  • A Malignant Sadness 5 days ago The worst thing about loving a person with Depression is that you lose them when they’re ill. Depression steals their voice, their vigour, their very essence. I have two mums. My well mum. My sick mum. That’s how much her illness changes her; she morphs from brave to timid, chatty to silent,...
  • Empty October 6 days ago This is the first October that I have not had any of my children home. Ever. Through school they always enjoyed a fortnight’s mid term break. Which I enjoyed more. For a long time we used to go to the beach then; October being the best time of year on the East African coast. Not […]
  • When Anger is Good 1 week ago Today I feel angry. I stomp around on my walk and kick things and shout and scream at the dogs to keep up and stop racing off until I am nearly hoarse. I feel angry because I feel trapped. Because Ant is unhappy. Because I am so far away. Because none of this was our […]
  • Man-eaters 1 week ago ‘Will I be eaten by a lion?’ I ask the ranger on the gate. He stops writing in his register, a big book daubed with dirty fingerprints, biro poised. ‘Will I?’ I persist, ‘I’ve heard that three people have been eaten here recently’. After a pause, he snorts, ‘that’s not true’....
  • The Invisible Woman 2 weeks ago Sometimes I feel like a lozenge. As if marriage and motherhood swallowed me up and sucked me to something so slight I am almost invisible. We had a rare and impromptu dinner party last night. I worked feverishly all day trying to eke from the vegetable garden and the freezer the makings of supper...

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