Banana Skin Flip Flops

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Banana Skin Flip Flops
A life in Colombia
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  • The day I became a true Colombian myth 1 week ago I was lying next to my husband in bed when he let out a loud and inopportune giggle. “Are you okay?” I said, astonished, because I had been on the verge of sleep. He responded with a roar of laughter that echoed around our otherwise silent room. “I was just remembering,” he chuckled into...
  • Ten facts that prove Colombia is fictional 4 months ago My name is Victoria and I have spent the past six years, two months and twenty-four days writing almost 250 stories that have attempted to tell the truth about a country called Colombia, and every single one of them has failed. That’s because the more truthfully a writer writes about Colombia,...
  • Sandwiches and sour grapes: Will being smart ever pay off in Colombia? 6 months ago The other day my boyfriend was walking through the lobby of our building when a voice with an English accent that sounded exactly like Prince Charles said, “Good morning, how are you?” and my boyfriend started and turned around to find Juan Carlos, our doorman, grinning from ear to ear....
  • Colombian peace: The mother of all dilemmas? 6 months ago Many years ago one of my editors turned to me, ashen-faced, after an hour-long discussion on the telephone and said, “Heaven help me, that was a mother.” Seeing the confusion on my face she continued, “Give me Government lackeys, drug lords and millionaires any day of the week. As soon as...
  • Is it time to start kissing invisible Colombians? 6 months ago When I was eighteen I wanted to travel to two countries on the opposite side of the globe and my father, who has a work ethic, said he would only contribute financially to that dream if I got my ass into the world and worked. He put me in touch with an agency who sent me to […]

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